Tags: biking home

hair syrup curl

nuzzle nuzzle, nuzzle the clouds

biking downhill I can see the clouds, and there are so many. Billowing, blowing, blooming, growing like that prolific green refrigerator mold, or, I guess if I want to be cliche, like cotton stuffing. It was pink and blue and yellow and later on reddish. I only got a glimpse, and i felt lucky to see it. I don't know how to describe it in words, I just have the glimpse of some clouds, and their reflection in the bay, as it all disappeared behind sharp, starry-night-esque trees. Were they pines maybe, that were innocently blocking my view of the quietly glorious and powerful natural phenomenon that I so desired to be entranced by?

But I was on a bike. And I had no lights, and the thing about sunsets, is that they bring darkness. So while I wanted to spontaneously ride uphill until I could see all of the bay, and drink up the sight like a glutton, I chose to ride west for as long as I could, and turn south and home-wards.
hair syrup curl

and how, if you blink at just the right tempo, the world is totally dark, if only for a moment?

Once again, I love biking home. After a bit, I realized that it actually isn't that cold out. the stars were out, and I could see orion's belt, and his sword. (its amazing how many people have tried to tell me that that belt is the big dipper. Its really not. Is the big dipper even in the sky right now?)

I love that when I glide into the diveway, cold, peaceful, absolutely silent, and stop to get out my keys, the bushes and the side of the house, and even the garage, blink an eery white light which I have come to associate with absolute silence. I open the door and hoist my bike up, it still under me, and now the kitchen blinks. Then the living room. Its really a strange quality of light, because, especially when it is blinking, it doesn't ACTUALLY illuminate anything. Thats why, after I parked my bike in its usual place in the living room, I started thinking about how much time the beat were taking, litterally thinking two notes, one for light, the other for dark, and would blink on ever higher note. It's pretty hard to stay on time, but I managed a few times, and even though I was blinking, the world was totally dark. The weirdest park was seeing the tail end of light as, like, nanosecond-esque flashes in you otherwise perception of darkness. also things emitting a theory of light, like when you see someone just get a good bye kisser, and their kisser is gone but they still have this just kissed sort of look on their face. It was like that.

Then I turned off my bike light, and took in a breath. "Ahhh, home." I like how, late at night, the house is totally quiet, but it stil seems so alive because of the way moonlight is sneaking down the stairs like a kid overhearing their parents' conversation. It doesn't quite make it all the way down the stairs. Then their is the moonlight out of that one window, and its like ben at my window at 2 or 3 am trying to get me to come one a bike ride. like, there is just no ignoring it. You'd say he'd come right through the window, bike and all, but it just feels like it. That analogy is only expected to make sense to me. You've never had ben at my window at 3 am waking you up, while you are me. probably not even if you aren't me.

Walking down the hallway toward my room, there is a soke detector with a little white "I'm working!" light that is like the sky light that never was.

The windows converging above my bed were like eery gothic cotton candy. Really.
hair syrup curl

Concord Biking And Funky Bus.

Oh Man, I just biked HELLA far! Emily and I biked to sleep train pavilion in concord (my 'brilliant' idea) to Funk B and da U-turns...
However, leaving at 5, we got there at 7:15ish and missed them. Biking in concord is quite ridiculous. I'm prtty sure the city planners hatebkes there. Also, it makes no sense. There are SOOOO many stores, but nothing to do.

Oh man, I had inciteful and interesting thing to say, but I've forgotten them, bexause it is nearly one, and I'm tired.

Oh, i remember one of the things.

One day is very short, and no matter what you do, you don't do very much in a day, and nothing really matters. And, that factis what allows you to have fun. We don't have much time, and there wont always be another day in which to get work done, or responsibilities taken care of, but there also just wont alway be another day, especially if you do the same thing every day 9Work or school or something), because you do the smae thing every day, going, I can work on a painting next week, go on that vacation next ear, and before you know it, you are fourty, have been at the same job 9-5 5 days a week for years, and have't been on an adventure ever, because before adulthood, parents are protective, and after adult hood, you are thrust out to be on your own, essentially alone, and are forced to gert a job to even have smoe miniscule hope of having health insurence, and even then you might not. And then you work and work, and meet some person at a party or bar, or online, and after a few months of dating, maybe a couple years if you are prudent, and you think you cn still sorta stand the person, you buy one of the box-off-the-shelf-of-the-grocery-store-cracker-jack-box-single-family-home house, in their little house lots, full of houses, with nothing to do, and have a kid, and then the process goes all over again.

Everyone is bored and has no idea what they are doing. I feel really sad for concordinans (haa, accordians!) We stopped in a bowling alley for water, and every one looked like the 80s, and this girl or about 5 was trying to get water from the water fountain, although she was too short, and her mom yelled at her, saying it was yucky water, and the water in her I-am-adverstising-coca-cola-paper-cup-wth-plastic-lid-and-straw was "better" water. It was likeley the same water. The little girl looked about to cry.
hair syrup curl

Time time time, see what's become of me?


I just got back from a school board meeting. It was a pretty exciting meeting, especially on SB meeting standards, but on everyday whatever standards as well.

Right now I feel efficient, motivated, exhilarated, content, excited for life and my future, full of sufficient spirit and hope... positive adjectives of functionality.

I might attribute this to feeling a part of the legislative process, and of school- the establishment, and my district. Education is something I care deeply about, and I also care deeply about being involved, building community, making student's lives better, and vicariously making everyone's lives better, in the whole world as a system of many inter-influential communities.

I feel as though I spoke fairly well, and concisely considering I had only 3 minutes, and many of my cohort of Independent studies Teachers, Students, and Parents also spoke very well and presented good points.

For the most part, I think we realized that the school board is our ally, against the budget cuts being imposed by a mindset that approaches taxes like an end-all worse thing. It makes no sense, but we all know that.

We went to address the proposed reduction in I.S's program coordinators hours, in addition to a 20% increase on her work load. Evelyn Bradley is amazing, truly. She works all the time trying her hardest. That program of nearly 200 students is run by two people alone. ALONE. Evelyn writes the college recommendations, lends an ear when people are sad, having trouble at home etc, knows every ones name, is a go-getter who never gives up and always has a smile on her face, though she has to put up with so much complication. I could go on, but you get the idea. It also might would sink the already under funded, neglected, yet nonetheless, integral, inspirational, and whatever that word I was going to use... program.

I am also going to Protest My governor's budget tomorrow, bright and early, and my brother is coming with, for which I am quite joyed. I biked all the way to his work tonight to talk to him about it, and got a coffee and a sandwich (free) and went over what I would say at the meeting earlier tonight, and I finally got everything worked out for tomorrow after the meeting.

As I was biking home, and feeling great, and intelligent, and well-respected and optimistic etc, and I realized that I really like being out and about alone after dark, between like 7 and 12, getting things done. Not inside necessarily, or at a scheduled event, but at a table, or in a park, or biking, or at a meeting.

During the day I prefer to be at home, or in the library, or somewhere new, either with people I don't know, or with a community, or interested people doing work, or around no one at all.

I don't like to day in and day out be around people who are stuck in a system, and hate it, and may not even realize what is out there, and where they have let their reality fall, in such a way that all these people (students in classes of thirty, teachers with no time), are slowly killing themselves, becoming zombies, becoming uninteresting, and becoming people (I don't remember where I was going with this sentence) ... Who are uninspired, detrimental, lackluster, depressing, There are so many ways to finish that sentence.

Oh, I was going to say that when I am around such people I would much rather be sleeping.

I was thinking that wanting to be alone- out at night, home during day, was because I don't like people, but thats not the case, so I am glad that that is resolved.

Oh- I also played Hacky-sack today, and was dressed in amazing stripy-ness. And, discovered that while I am very good at publishing processi, and programs, in the case of a year book, it is mind-numbing, and demanding of my creativity which does not stem from a numb mind, and I did that from 1pm until nearly 6, came home for a minute, showered, and left again.
hair syrup curl

(no subject)

As I was riding home, I noticed that the world is beautiful. The trees stretched over the wide empty street and made shadows. I perched up on my bike and coasted. then I stretched out my arms wide and steered with my thighs.

I just wasted a lot of time, and have to get ready to give Kayla a violin lesson. There is not time in the world. It is not existent.
hair syrup curl

Stars in blue and cold air, hearts drawn on windows.

Mood wise I have been depressed, but calculus calms me and dancing makes me happy again for a while.
It was a good idea to go dancing, I was pulled out of a bad funk. Music, plodding my feet to the beat, and being silly.
However, I WAS happy for orchestra, being orchestra, it just didn't last long enough. And before that, I was content.
All things considered, its all right. I was very silly tonight, with yoshi. Both full of goof.
(On a side point, I wasn't very feminine tonight, and everything I did was for me, not to flirt.)

Riding home at night on my bike is amazing. There are only a few cars, and new air and stars and wonderfulness. I came accross ohlone park and stopped to climb a structure and watch my shadow. The structure was beautiful in its contrast with the dark sky- the street light light it up and gave it depth.
I enjoy having balance, and can just climb all over a wet slippery thing, as long as I feel safe I am.

As I continuead home, I coasted, and for a few blocks I drew hearts in the condensation of the windows of cars.

The night is beuatiful, godly gods.