Tags: riva

hair syrup curl

half baked idea, Good Idea.

Perhaps the ways in which we try to protect ourselves hurt us more.

We say to ourselves, I dont want to be unhealthy. I see unhealthy behavior in these people and I need to avoid it. We convince ourselves that we do infact know how to do that. But it has negative repercussions. The back fire is deepseeded something, that you have not predicted and wouldn't know to look out for. To think that we are in control of ourselves is only disabling ourselves from discovering the backlash of tryting to protect ourselves.

In my case I have a fear of.. what is it, relationships? Judgement? Oh, yes, abandonment.  I also secretly have a fear of change and instability. I have a fear of anger. I have a fear of not becoming close to people, and a fear of becoming close to people.

Some of this comes from my being so intent on being fluid and accepting change, when In fact, it scares me to death.
Ok, I dont know what I'm saying here; it was a half baked Idea.